Winding Down in Fairbanks and Chena Hot Springs

Our attempts in Fairbanks to view the Northern Lights have been foiled at every turn. I believe Aurora Borealis is an Eskimo term for sleep deprivation. We cat-napped for two nights in a row with scheduled iPad alarm wake ups every couple of hours. A lean-out on our balcony in Fairbanks showed that the only activity came from drunks hitting golf balls across the Chena River. The golfers were using the established tee on one side of the river next to the bar at Pikes Landing and were hoping for their hole-in-one across the river. They were only successful at drowning a few dozen balls in the river and making lots of noise.

Hole In One Across Chena River

Not one of them could have seen if they were successful but I'm sure a good time was had by all...., except maybe people trying to sleep.  I seriously considered going down to try my hand at knocking a few balls into the river.  If you hear that several good-natured golf enthusiasts are missing in Alaska, just know I had nothing to do with their demise...., er, new location in the Chena River or wherever they turn up.


We also drove out to see the famous Alaska Pipeline.  It would be here that I would try to put in something funny about the pipeline.  I thought and I thought and couldn't come up with anything clean and funny.  Everything I came up with was too crude.

Alaska Pipeline

 After two days at Pikes we checked out and turned in our rental car by locking the keys inside the glove box per Alaska Auto Rental instructions. Our driver, Ed from Chena Hot Springs Resort, picked us up at the scheduled 11:30 and headed for the hot springs. On the 60 mile trip, we passed through forests of skinny evergreens which were apparently stunted by the permafrost. With the ground frozen just a few feet below the surface, the root systems can't develop. I am now considering permafrost as a new diet program. Freeze your feet and you won't eat much. I hope to make millions to cover the high cost of food in Alaska.

We also found a moose. She was standing in a pond doing what good mother moose do. This was one lucky moose. This was the last day of hunting season and, while hunting from the road is prohibited, many a hunter has ignored this rule. This particular moose may have been Japanese as it looked pregnant. It would be highly conceivable that conception had taken place under the lucky Northern Lights. Our driver pulled our vehicle down a side road and all five of us grabbed our respective photographic tools and began clicking away. Mrs. Moose obliged by turning into the light and grazing on the salad bar at her feet. She was standing in a pond surrounded by a blaze of color, mostly bright yellow.

Pregnant Moose

Mrs. Moose apparantly filed a paternity suit against Mr. Moose since he was nowhere to be found. We have visited moose environs on many vacations and the un-racked females are our usual sightings. You can be sure that, if we had moose in Miami, the females would have racks. They would be made of silicone, but they would have spectacular racks.

Miami Moose

Yesterday at Chena we took two tours. The first tour was at the Ice Museum where my suspicions of old ice were acknowledged. It seems that the two museum sculptors are world champions and their competition entries over the years are on display in the museum. We sat at the bar made of ice and sat on ice bar stools. We were served apple-tinis in ice cocktail glasses. We took lots of pictures and managed to be the last to leave. Our late departure resulted in a special treat as Heather, 4 time world ice sculpting champion, came in to make some more ice cocktail glasses. She turned a small block of ice on a specially designed ice lathe and quickly created a new glass. She finished it with a blow torch to give it a polished surface.

Heather Carving a New Apple-tini Glass

Our second tour included all the geothermal efforts here at Chena. They are trying to be self sustaining. They use its geothermal feature, with its 160 degree water, to generate electricity and heat its buildings and greenhouses.  They grow their own vegtables, mostly with hydroponics. They are beginning with their own carabou, goats and chickens for meat, milk and eggs. I think I'll pass on the caribou eggs.

Caribou (aka Reindeer) Out for a Stroll

We have been traveling in Alaska for a couple of weeks at this point and I have finally realized that they use a term which I will refer to as OIK. You see, Alaskans are a proud bunch, kind of like very cold Texans. Alaskans tend to brag about the biggest, tallest, oldest, meanest, roughest and these are just terms used to describe their wives and girlfriends. The OIK comes in as a qualifier. Here at Chena, the airport is the oldest runway in Alaska, OIK. The OIK stands for "of its kind". When a tour guide mentioned that their geothermal electrical generation system was the oldest, he was challenged by someone who knew of another such device in Finland. The guide quickly reminded the challenger that he had said it was the oldest Of Its Kind. At Chena, it would be very difficult to challenge anything as there is no Internet service.

I have to now confess that, while my ATT cell service out paced Don's Verizon at every turn in our journey, I have no service at Chena. Verizon customers have at least three bars. This posting will have to wait until I get back to civilization. In this case it will be Fairbanks.

Fairbanks will be a place that can be refered to as civilization, at least until September 30th. You see, everyone we met in Alaska was from somewhere else. All will be going back to the "lower 48" on or before September 30th. On October 1st the population of Alaska will have more grizzly bears than people. I also found out that grizzly bears always vote Republican. This, perhaps, explains Sarah Palin.

Mama Grizzly On Her Way Home From Publix

We tried one more time for a Nothern Lights experience. We set the alarm for 12:30, quickly dressed as warm as two Miamians know how, grabbed our cameras and tripods and headed outside. Upon opening the door to the Moose Lodge, we quickly discovered that Miamians don't know how to dress for cold weather. Inside the Ice Museum it was a pleasant 20 degrees. Outside the Moose Lodage at 12:30 am, the Ice Museum seemed like a balmy day at the beach. The proverbial brass toilet seat in the Yukon now had new meaning. A 15 to 20 mph breeze quickly blew through my 4 layers of clothing.

Home of the Brass Toilet Seat

We plopped our tripods on the airstrip runway and waited. Time passes at a glacial pace when you feel like you're the glacier. Eventually we figured out that we were just two of the hundred or so folks waiting for someone to turn on the Northern Lights. The smart ones were in the heated room with the large picture window. We soon joined the smart crowd in the warmth of the little room. We were the only two Americans in the room, the rest were presumably Japanese. I say presumably because my years of studying their language has only gained me the ability to count to four.

Aurora Borealis At Chena Airstrip

 While we didn't speak the language it didn't take long to figure out that when the room got noisy and twenty plus Japanese with cameras ran outside, somebody had either spotted Michael Jordan or the Northern Lights were active. We also grabbed our cameras and followed our asian roommates. We got several decent shots with each outside run. We followed this routine until 4 a.m. when there were no more Japanese to guide us.

We went back to our Moose Lodge to thaw out. Our feet were frozen, our fingers were frozen and the rest of us were a toasty 38 degrees. Sue had purchased a silver mylar blanket to use while out in the cold awaiting the lights, but forgot to take it with her. She broke it out later to see if it would warm her up. She layed down on the bed covered with the blanket. She looked like a giant baked potato.

Bake For 55 Minutes At 475 Degrees And Sue Will Be Done

 We never made it into the hot springs for its miraculous healing properties. We did however, shower in that same water, heated the same way, every day. We didn't feel like we missed anything, except perhaps a communicable disease.

It is now Tuesday, September 17th. We fly home tomorrow. The end of a great Alaskan vacation. We saw whales, eagles, glaciers, bears, moose, Mt. McKinley from the air, the Northern Lights, and 2,000 Japanese tourists. The two of us, over the two plus weeks, ate enough food to feed a family of four for a year. I doubt we gained any weight but we will probably not step on a scale until sometime in November. Probably just before Thanksgiving. Next stop Miami.

PS Sept 18, we awoke on our travel day to find that it snowed the night before. I am thoroughly baked. Sort of like a baked Alaska.