Winding Down in Fairbanks and Chena Hot Springs

Our attempts in Fairbanks to view the Northern Lights have been foiled at every turn. I believe Aurora Borealis is an Eskimo term for sleep deprivation. We cat-napped for two nights in a row with scheduled iPad alarm wake ups every couple of hours. A lean-out on our balcony in Fairbanks showed that the only activity came from drunks hitting golf balls across the Chena River. The golfers were using the established tee on one side of the river next to the bar at Pikes Landing and were hoping for their hole-in-one across the river. They were only successful at drowning a few dozen balls in the river and making lots of noise.

Hole In One Across Chena River

Not one of them could have seen if they were successful but I'm sure a good time was had by all...., except maybe people trying to sleep.  I seriously considered going down to try my hand at knocking a few balls into the river.  If you hear that several good-natured golf enthusiasts are missing in Alaska, just know I had nothing to do with their demise...., er, new location in the Chena River or wherever they turn up.


We also drove out to see the famous Alaska Pipeline.  It would be here that I would try to put in something funny about the pipeline.  I thought and I thought and couldn't come up with anything clean and funny.  Everything I came up with was too crude.

Alaska Pipeline

 After two days at Pikes we checked out and turned in our rental car by locking the keys inside the glove box per Alaska Auto Rental instructions. Our driver, Ed from Chena Hot Springs Resort, picked us up at the scheduled 11:30 and headed for the hot springs. On the 60 mile trip, we passed through forests of skinny evergreens which were apparently stunted by the permafrost. With the ground frozen just a few feet below the surface, the root systems can't develop. I am now considering permafrost as a new diet program. Freeze your feet and you won't eat much. I hope to make millions to cover the high cost of food in Alaska.

We also found a moose. She was standing in a pond doing what good mother moose do. This was one lucky moose. This was the last day of hunting season and, while hunting from the road is prohibited, many a hunter has ignored this rule. This particular moose may have been Japanese as it looked pregnant. It would be highly conceivable that conception had taken place under the lucky Northern Lights. Our driver pulled our vehicle down a side road and all five of us grabbed our respective photographic tools and began clicking away. Mrs. Moose obliged by turning into the light and grazing on the salad bar at her feet. She was standing in a pond surrounded by a blaze of color, mostly bright yellow.

Pregnant Moose

Mrs. Moose apparantly filed a paternity suit against Mr. Moose since he was nowhere to be found. We have visited moose environs on many vacations and the un-racked females are our usual sightings. You can be sure that, if we had moose in Miami, the females would have racks. They would be made of silicone, but they would have spectacular racks.

Miami Moose

Yesterday at Chena we took two tours. The first tour was at the Ice Museum where my suspicions of old ice were acknowledged. It seems that the two museum sculptors are world champions and their competition entries over the years are on display in the museum. We sat at the bar made of ice and sat on ice bar stools. We were served apple-tinis in ice cocktail glasses. We took lots of pictures and managed to be the last to leave. Our late departure resulted in a special treat as Heather, 4 time world ice sculpting champion, came in to make some more ice cocktail glasses. She turned a small block of ice on a specially designed ice lathe and quickly created a new glass. She finished it with a blow torch to give it a polished surface.

Heather Carving a New Apple-tini Glass

Our second tour included all the geothermal efforts here at Chena. They are trying to be self sustaining. They use its geothermal feature, with its 160 degree water, to generate electricity and heat its buildings and greenhouses.  They grow their own vegtables, mostly with hydroponics. They are beginning with their own carabou, goats and chickens for meat, milk and eggs. I think I'll pass on the caribou eggs.

Caribou (aka Reindeer) Out for a Stroll

We have been traveling in Alaska for a couple of weeks at this point and I have finally realized that they use a term which I will refer to as OIK. You see, Alaskans are a proud bunch, kind of like very cold Texans. Alaskans tend to brag about the biggest, tallest, oldest, meanest, roughest and these are just terms used to describe their wives and girlfriends. The OIK comes in as a qualifier. Here at Chena, the airport is the oldest runway in Alaska, OIK. The OIK stands for "of its kind". When a tour guide mentioned that their geothermal electrical generation system was the oldest, he was challenged by someone who knew of another such device in Finland. The guide quickly reminded the challenger that he had said it was the oldest Of Its Kind. At Chena, it would be very difficult to challenge anything as there is no Internet service.

I have to now confess that, while my ATT cell service out paced Don's Verizon at every turn in our journey, I have no service at Chena. Verizon customers have at least three bars. This posting will have to wait until I get back to civilization. In this case it will be Fairbanks.

Fairbanks will be a place that can be refered to as civilization, at least until September 30th. You see, everyone we met in Alaska was from somewhere else. All will be going back to the "lower 48" on or before September 30th. On October 1st the population of Alaska will have more grizzly bears than people. I also found out that grizzly bears always vote Republican. This, perhaps, explains Sarah Palin.

Mama Grizzly On Her Way Home From Publix

We tried one more time for a Nothern Lights experience. We set the alarm for 12:30, quickly dressed as warm as two Miamians know how, grabbed our cameras and tripods and headed outside. Upon opening the door to the Moose Lodge, we quickly discovered that Miamians don't know how to dress for cold weather. Inside the Ice Museum it was a pleasant 20 degrees. Outside the Moose Lodage at 12:30 am, the Ice Museum seemed like a balmy day at the beach. The proverbial brass toilet seat in the Yukon now had new meaning. A 15 to 20 mph breeze quickly blew through my 4 layers of clothing.

Home of the Brass Toilet Seat

We plopped our tripods on the airstrip runway and waited. Time passes at a glacial pace when you feel like you're the glacier. Eventually we figured out that we were just two of the hundred or so folks waiting for someone to turn on the Northern Lights. The smart ones were in the heated room with the large picture window. We soon joined the smart crowd in the warmth of the little room. We were the only two Americans in the room, the rest were presumably Japanese. I say presumably because my years of studying their language has only gained me the ability to count to four.

Aurora Borealis At Chena Airstrip

 While we didn't speak the language it didn't take long to figure out that when the room got noisy and twenty plus Japanese with cameras ran outside, somebody had either spotted Michael Jordan or the Northern Lights were active. We also grabbed our cameras and followed our asian roommates. We got several decent shots with each outside run. We followed this routine until 4 a.m. when there were no more Japanese to guide us.

We went back to our Moose Lodge to thaw out. Our feet were frozen, our fingers were frozen and the rest of us were a toasty 38 degrees. Sue had purchased a silver mylar blanket to use while out in the cold awaiting the lights, but forgot to take it with her. She broke it out later to see if it would warm her up. She layed down on the bed covered with the blanket. She looked like a giant baked potato.

Bake For 55 Minutes At 475 Degrees And Sue Will Be Done

 We never made it into the hot springs for its miraculous healing properties. We did however, shower in that same water, heated the same way, every day. We didn't feel like we missed anything, except perhaps a communicable disease.

It is now Tuesday, September 17th. We fly home tomorrow. The end of a great Alaskan vacation. We saw whales, eagles, glaciers, bears, moose, Mt. McKinley from the air, the Northern Lights, and 2,000 Japanese tourists. The two of us, over the two plus weeks, ate enough food to feed a family of four for a year. I doubt we gained any weight but we will probably not step on a scale until sometime in November. Probably just before Thanksgiving. Next stop Miami.

PS Sept 18, we awoke on our travel day to find that it snowed the night before. I am thoroughly baked. Sort of like a baked Alaska.

Denali National Park to Fairbanks

 Our last day in Denali was great.  The weather was clearing and the sun was breaking through the pea soup of the day before.  After a hearty breakfast of coffee, fruit cup and some reindeer sausage we went to the main lodge for our Denali Air pick up.

We made it to the airstrip for our weigh-in.  We stepped on a scale with all our camera gear.  My last Miami weight was somewhere around 225.  While she didn't announce it, I think I saw her write down 270.  It must have been that morning reindeer sausage because I don't think my camera gear and heavy clothing weighs 45 lbs.  It may also be the altitude, or the polar magnetic pull or the humidity because it certainly couldn't be the fact that I recently stepped off an all-you-can-eat cruise ship.  Everything is bigger in Alaska.

We met Connie our pilot.  With a name like Connie I knew he had to be tough.  We boarded an eight seat twin engine plane with large windows.  The cabin was spacious by American Airlines standards.  This means that Sue, Sue, 4 Japanese photographers and myself were packed in like sardines.  The extra Sue in that sentence was not a typo as we have been traveling all along with several of Sue's high school friends.  We started the cruise as a party of nine, three of whom were Sues.  By this time our party had dwindled down to five.

We lifted off from the airstrip just outside Denali National Park.  As we approached cruising altitude we hit a few air pockets.  This was wonderful as it allowed me to re-enjoy my reindeer sausage just a bit.  The flight smoothed out and the scenery was spectacular.  Mt. McKinley looked deceptively like you could reach out and touch it.  Touching the mountain in such a fashion was not on my agenda and we all hoped it wasn't on Connie's mind either.  He later told us that, with the mountain miles away but appearing very close, he would occasionally turn and begin a conversation with the guests as he flew directly at the mountain.  He enjoyed watching their animated faces as he continued his mountain approach.  We were glad he just related this story instead of an actual performance.

We flew around the peak and through several smaller peaks and over glaciers that appeared as white rivers of ice with black borders.  After a complete circumnavigation of Mt. McKinley we flew above the park splashed with greens from the pines, yellows from the aspen and birch trees and reds of the bear berries.  Fall in Denali is beautiful.  Since I am writing this you already know we landed safely.  We all took group pictures in front of the plane with Connie.  The Japanese photographers took several with our cameras and we reciprocated.

This little excursion helped fill the time between our 10 a.m. "get-out-of-your-room-so-we-can-clean-it" and our 3 p.m. bus to the train station.  The train ride from Denali to Fairbanks was uneventful and somewhat boring as we had already had enjoyed the best scenery between Anchorage and Denali. 

We arrived in Fairbanks and stayed at the Westmark, a Holland America hotel.  This hotel was the finest of our trip so far.  We rented a car and moved our belongings to the Pikes Waterfront Lodge.  We went back and picked up three of our friends who had later flights that day.  All of us went to the University of Alaska Museum of the North.  The museum had a large collection of Alaskan art, native artifacts, stuffed animals (the dead scary kind) and dinosaur bones.  We dropped off one of the Sue's at the airport.  Luckily it turned out that we dropped off the right one.  If I had messed that one up I would never have heard the end of it.

We had lunch at Gambardella's Italian Restaurant and returned the remaining couple, Terry and Kathy to await their ride to the airport.  We returned to Pikes and made plans for a possible aurora sighting that evening.  We put in a wake-up call in case the aurora showed up.  We set up our cameras and had our gear all ready for a quick run outside to catch the elusive Northern Lights.  We didn't need our wake-up as the cloud cover blocked any chance of a sighting.  We also found out that a previous guest decided against his wake-up call and had unplugged the phone.

We had noticed a large number of young Japanese tourists and were eventually told that they were also here for the Northern Lights but for a reason that differed from Sue's and mine.  They believe it is good luck to have conceived under the Northern Lights.  Sue and I considered this possibility for less than a nanosecond and decided it wouldn't be a good idea.  It also gave us pause to consider even going into the hot springs at the Cheena Lodge.

Glacier Bay to Denali National Park

The rest of our cruise will be spent at sea. We cruised into Glacier Bay this morning.  We took on the two park rangers who must have ticked off someone in the National Park's Service to get such outstanding duty.  They are stationed somewhere out in the fog and their two duties consist of guiding cruise ships through the waters of Glacier Bay and making sure nobody steals a glacier.  I'm sure the two Park Rangers did a better job guiding the ship than an experienced ship captain with only radar and GPS at his disposal.

 One of the rangers narrated the site before us.  That is glacier ice.  It is very cold.  It is very old.  Fascinating stuff I'm sure.  They had all year to come up with this stuff and that was the best that they could do?  Perhaps they were busy with glacier poachers.

One of the glaciers we saw was called John's Hopkins.  Not many people get to see this glacier as it is closed all year until September 1st and then the season closes a couple of weeks later.  This was what I assume to be a "cow-glacier" as it had a calf right before our eyes.  I didn't see the calf because I was distracted by the big chunk of ice that broke away from the bigger chunk and then crashed into the sea.

As we left the calm waters of Glacier Bay I noticed the ship's personnel distributing barf bags to different areas of the ship.  A couple of hours later we found out why.  We had 10' swells hitting us just a few points off of our port beam.  That is nautical talk for you are about to be bounced left and right, but not necessarily in that order.  We had a full day and part of another before the rocking stopped.  We got off the boat and it still seemed like we were bouncing around.

We were herded on a train that was to take us to Anchorage from our Seward port.  It was aboard this train that our sea legs were put to use once again.  We rode the train for 5 hours and enjoyed the scenery.  From the train station we were once again herded onto a bus which drove us the short distance to the Holland America Hospitality Center.  It is here you must wait from noon to 3 p.m.  Then, promptly at 3 p.m., a bus drove us the two blocks from the Hospitality Center to the Hilton.  It was organization and coordination like this that made the invasion of Normandy so successful.  The Normandy invasion was, of course, an operation run on a much smaller scale than the ship-train-bus-wait-bus-hotel process we had just encountered.

We had dinner at the Snow Goose Bar near the hotel.  I had a much needed dark beer.  The beer was a local micro-brew whose name escapes me.  Since it is only served in Anchorage I doubt I will be seeing it again, except a few hours after dinner.  We had to set our alarm for 4 a.m. to shower, down a cup of coffee and have our bags packed for a 6 a.m. pick up.  We were hustled aboard a bus for the 6 block trip to the train station.  There we boarded a luxury coach owned by Holland America.  This coach had comfortable seating at a higher elevation than our first train leg.  We had an 8 hour train ride to Denali.  We were able to walk out to the platform between coach cars to breathe the fresh air that is Alaska.  This air was also appropriately mixed with the cigarette smoke of the few individuals in our age bracket still left alive.  Most were considerate.  One poor guy spent at least 7 hours of the 8 hour ride chain smoking.  He took breaks for the nearby bathroom and to get a fresh puff inhaler for whatever health issue he seemed to have.

We managed to get a few pictures from the platform that may be keepers.  You will have to wait until I have access to a real computer to see these postings as my iPad is just not up to the task.  Google also changed their protocol for picture placement as all images need to be posted to a linked Picasa website.  I was surprised that an internet connection was not the issue I had anticipated.  My biggest problem is that Holland America only had me scheduled for 4 hours of sleep each night. 

At Denali we boarded busses for our hotel situated just a couple of miles from the park's entrance.  We checked into room 316 in the two story cabin in section N located at the bottom of a hill from the main restaurant and lobby.  They have conveniently placed a road between the cabins and the main hotel which is appropriately named "heart attack hill".  Tourists who succumb to the rigors of the hill are left where they drop and are cleaned up by the local grizzlies.  I walked the hill once, downhill and Sue braved it once in both directions.  We both now ride the shuttle bus.

We had an early 7:15 a.m. departure from the hotel lobby the next day.  I really feel like I am back in the Navy with all of the "O-Dark-Thirty" wake up times.  We got to the lobby in plenty of time for a quick Starbucks and bite to eat.  So did the other 500 guests with early departures.  The line was huge.  We just barely made it through the line, sat down at a table, wolfed down a packaged breakfast and heard our boarding call.

We were told that these busses were almost brand new as ours only had 13,000 miles on the odometer.  The seats were comfortable.  My left cheek had to tell my right cheek that the seat was comfortable as the right one was hanging in the aisle.  Someone needs to tell all public transportation seat manufacturers that the average American is slightly wider than 12 inches.  The windows can be lowered for photography but as a practical solution this was next to impossible.  Our window took a Herculean effort to move in either direction.  Our driver said it was because the bus was so new.  I said, "huh"? 

The windows themselves had been dirty before someone cleaned them before our trip.  This left the windows with a few clear spots between the streaks of white.  At the first stop I managed to grab a few towels and cleaned our window and the window next to the seat in front of us that we regularly used.  I would have left the window open but the elderly crowd wanted the bus temperature to be somewhere north of 85 degrees and the outside temps were hovering around 50.

The day was beautiful and the fall colors had the landscape streaked with reds and yellows accenting the evergreens and multi colored rock formations.  Our first animal sighting was a moose.  I managed to get a rather nice shot of his but before he disappeared over the rise.  I am thinking of having this picture framed and sent to the bus seat designer.

We next spotted a grizzly bear.  He was on the right side of the bus so I managed to get a few shots after smashing Jerry just a bit.  Jerry was my aisle mate.  His left cheek was nearest my right cheek on the aisle. I offered Jerry my website business card and promised that he would be able to download all of the pictures I took.  I had requests for more business cards and now had access to much of the right side of the bus.  Picture taking was still an acrobatic feat.  For a 4'-10" photographer with 12" hips the bus was ideal.  For all others it was a challenge.

The animal highlight of the trip was a couple of grizzly cubs about two years old.  The bus driver called their coloring blonde.  It certainly was a very light brown.  They looked really cuddly right up to the point where one of them began digging the earth and plucked out a ground squirrel and dispatched it right before our eyes.  He then ran off away from his cub mate and finished off his squirrel lunch.

Speaking of lunch, our Denali Wilderness Excursion bus provided us with box lunches.  When I saw its contents a little ground squirrel was looking mighty good.  They had Alaskan chips, reindeer sausage, cheese and an Andes mint.  The reindeer sausage has pork, reindeer, beef heart, water and salt along with those other ingredients that let you safely eat it anytime before January 12, 2086.  The rest of the date was blurred but looked like 10:32 in the morning, probably Alaska time.  I forgot that the lunch also had carrots but I don't consider that food.

We spent about 8 hours on the bus for the round trip in and out of the park.  We got dropped off at our hotel and took a walk across the street to try to book an excursion for the next day.  We signed up for a flightseeing trip where a plane flies all through Denali National Park culminating in a circuit at 12,000' around the peak of Mt. McKinley.  It is a 200 mile journey lasting about 65 minutes.  We bought the excursion tickets and headed for the hotel bar to celebrate our decision.

We had a couple of drinks at the bar and had a nice conversation with our bartender who was getting married at the end of the season in a couple of weeks.  That night we had tickets for the Cabin Night Dinner.  This is an all you can eat dinner and show.  The pace was hectic and, while the food was very good, you weren't given much time to enjoy the meal.  The ribs and salmon were accompanied by corn, baked beans, salad and dessert.  It was served "family style" which is a term used by restaurants to indicate that they don't have enough servers so you are "allowed" to serve yourself.  They had one server for several long tables with uncomfortable bench seats.  The bench seats would accommodate buts larger than 12", but not for very long.  The wood they used was a type of pine that must have been chosen for its hardness which approached the density of tungsten.  The wait staff were also the entertainers.  The voices were good even if the show was a bit hokey.  It had an Alaskan theme which would have been totally out of place except for the fact that we were, in fact, in Alaska.   

This morning we awoke to heavy clouds and light rain.  We received a call from the Denali Air folks and were informed that they wouldn't recommend flying that morning but they would reschedule for 3 p.m.  We agreed and did laundry.  At 2 p.m. we called and agreed that the weather didn't look good.  The forecast is for sunshine tomorrow so we scheduled a 9 a.m. pickup for a 10 a.m. flight.  This should get us back in plenty of time for our train trip to Fairbanks.  

That's it for this leg of the trip.  More later.

A DAY IN JUNEAU

Our excursion today was to visit a glacier. When you visit a glacier, it is always polite to do it as part of an organized gang known as an excursion. This way, an excursion company can charge you a fee which in turn helps the local economy. I guess this is a good thing because I have to imagine it costs a fortune to keep the whole place cold enough to keep the glacier from melting. The refrigeration bills have to be enormous.

The excursion company, in order to make you feel like you are getting something more than a bus ride to a location, has to add extra stuff. They will talk to you all through the bus ride telling you interesting facts like how old the glacier is and if it is growing, like hair, or receding, also like hair. By the way, glaciers are very old. Some of them were even older than many of the folks on our tour. The excursion company will also take you the long way to visit the glacier. In our case, instead of driving us to the visitor's center, they had us walk down a long pathway through the woods first. This way they can point out the trees and ferns and rocks, none of which I would have seen without their narrative. Add in the fact that we got to do this in the rain and you can just imagine our excitement. I did get a nice shot or two of mushrooms in addition to my pictures of the glacier.

Our photographer/guide, Brandon, spends the long winters writing his material for his narration. He peppered his talks with witty remarks. When nobody laughed he would wait for a bit and then announce that his last remark was a joke. I suggested a laugh sign to let us know when it would be appropriate to let out a good chortle. Unbeknownst to Brandon the bus driver used her spare hand and eye and created a sign on her clipboard with the word LAUGH! Having heard Brandon's presentation before, she was able to hold up the clipboard at the appropriate time, behind Brandon's back, and we all responded accordingly. At the conclusion of the ride Brandon remarked that we were his best audience ever. The driver just smiled.

After the visit to the glacier, his name was Mendenhall by the way, we proceeded to the second portion of our trip for our whale watching. This would more appropriately be named "tail-watching" as you almost never see anything but the tail. The photography aspect has a degree of difficulty that I would rate a 10, on a scale of one to five. It is cold, it is raining, it is windy, the boat is bouncing and the cabin is crowded with photographers. Blast a little salt spray through the open window to help clear your lens which is fogged from the cold and you have some idea why there were only 14 of us from our ship's passenger list of around 1,500.

This is either a whale diving or a macro shot of a guppy

We spent 1/4 of our time shooting pictures of whale tails and the rest of the time drying off our cameras and cleaning our lenses. We had all level of expertise in our photographers group ranging from iPads and cellphones to the big lens crowd with expensive DSLR's. The best photographs were taken by the cellphone and iPad crowd. The long lens guys were generally bobbing with the waves and shooting very nice high resolution close ups of water or sky. I got the shot above with clever planning, a steadfast will, nerves of steel and the luck of the Irish. You may ignore the first three as they had nothing to do with any of the good shots I may have made.

We made it back to the docks in plenty of time for departure. We walked the one block to the Red Dog Saloon which, according to many travel guides, is a mandatory stop in Juneau. It looked like a rough place, by cruise ship travel standards. They had sawdust on the floor. When I asked our serving wench she told us it wasn't sawdust but just last night's furniture.

That's it for Juneau, on to Glacier Bay.

Vancouver to Ketchikan and Juneau

 We left Vancouver and proceeded toward Ketchikan aboard our floating food barge.  For those of you who have cruised before, you understand that the primary goal of any cruise is to add at least ten pounds to each passenger.

A Scene from the Zandaam Lido Fine Dining Area on Formal Night

I have also uncovered a heinous cruise ship plot to add revenue to their bottom line.  They give you lots of food but make it difficult to get something to drink.  They have 15 food lines in each venue but only one crowded line for beverages.  This then brings us to the wait staff that walk around with small trays offering you alcoholic beverages that you must add to your room account.  If you ask for water or tea they will  smile, say yes sir, I'll be right back with that.  You will never see that individual again.  You may see his twin Indonesian brother or cousin, but never him.

The cruise to Ketchikan was beautiful, but only if you got up at 5 a.m.  Since my body was still on Miami time it was really 9 a.m. so I had already been up for over an hour.  The sunrise was beautiful as we passed through Johnstone straight.  A humpback whale rolled and flipped his tail right next to the ship not knowing that I had my camera.  I managed a few nice shots before he disappeared in our wake.  All other such sightings occurred when I was walking without my camera.   Pods of orca and white sided porpoise all escaped becoming famous on the World Wide Web.

The weather was just like Miami.  Sunny and a bit warm.  The pool was crowded with very white people trying to get red.  Several yelled ureka or something like that when it became apparent that they had succeeded in obtaining the proper shade of crimson.

We arrived in Ketchikan  and the weather had changed just a bit.  We had fog.  The town was clear but our water based shore excursion to see eagles, a totem display and a lighthouse was thoroughly engulfed in fog.  I got some moody shots of eagles in the fog.  We never saw the lighthouse but were told it was just on the other side of the wall of white fog on our starboard side.  We could see something that might have been a totem pole but could just as well have been a dead tree or a giraffe.  The captain of our boat, Rob, was a cut up.  He announced that, in an attempt to spot a whale, he would use his whale call.  He left the wheelhouse and began playing a moody solo on a bright red trombone.  The whales were apparently not amused and remained wherever whales go to avoid red trombone music.

We returned to town and had time to wander around and meet all 16 of the locals.  We stopped at an Irish pub called O'Brian's, what else.  The owner had an authentic Irish look about him in his Irish wool cap and he had a lilt to his speech.  I asked him where he was from and he mentioned an Irish town I hadn't hear of before, Detroit.

Salmon fishing is an important cog in the local economy.  The have Coho, Sockeye, Chum, Pink, Steelhead and Chinook.  Apparently they don't have my favorite which is Smoked.  At O'Brian's Pub I had a salad topped with salmon.  This was all washed down with a pint of Guinness.  Ok, it was two Guinnesses.

We had an early sailing out of Ketchikan, leaving at 3 p.m.  We were on our way to Juneau.  After three days of sailing I began to notice a pattern in that the most beautiful scenery, described as "don't miss", is passed by the cruise ships at night.

We arrived this morning in Juneau.  Now the weather was finally cooperating and was what we were expecting.  Cold with a light rain.  Now I feel we are in Alaska where men are men and the women are...., well you know, "rugged".

Miami to Alaska via Vancouver

We made it to Vancouver. We were not deterred by American Customs, Canadian Customs, TSA Security, Canadian Security or Holland American Security. Not that these professionals didn't try slow us down just a bit. Between our Global Entry (GOES) card and the right color AMEX card we were able to skip to the head of the line at both Miami and Toronto airports. Air Canada, unlike American Airlines, actually had human sized seats. With the seat in front me reclined, I still had 3 inches in front of my kneecaps and my hipbones weren't embedded in the armrests.

If this had been an AA flight, they would have crammed another two rows of seats between rows 18 and 19. Those rows would be designated 18.33 and 18.66. They would also have shaved 3 inches from each of the 7 seat across configuration to allow two more seats on each row with the extra 21 inches saved. Which American do you know that can't fit into a seat 10.5 inches in width. Airline travel has become so much fun.

Air Canada was a wonderful carrier. My only fault was that, on the Miami to Toronto leg, the plane only had one bathroom for the 130 economy passengers and crew members. The door to this bathroom was situated inside the crew galley where, anyone waiting to use the facility, had to stand right where the four flight attendants needed to work. Both passengers and crew looked thrilled with this arrangement.

I will also give credit to the Canuck version of TSA. It would appear that they hire polite, respectful people with manners. What a concept. When was the last time you heard an American TSA agent say, "I'm sorry, but could I have your permission to open this bag, we need to do a run a simple test". He did this in front of me and performed his test within a few feet. The last time an American TSA agent did the same thing, he plucked my camera bag off the line, moved it behind a cubicle wall, did something "secret", gave it to another agent who the moved it out of my sight, and then tossed it on a conveyor belt to be X-rayed again.

In Vancouver we stayed at a Hilton located outside the hustle and bustle of the downtown section port area, politely referred to as Gastown. We stayed in Metrotown, which is Chinese for, "we own this". We went to a market trying to buy some cranberry juice. They had such hard to find items like, fried starfish, fried scorpions, fried rooster feet, but alas, no cranberry juice.

We ate in the hotel for most meals. After seeing what the Asian population was buying to eat, we didn't trust the restaurants run by the same folks. For our one day in Vancouver we took their municipal rail transportation into the city. We bought tickets but no one ever asked to see them. They work on the honor system in Vancouver. If Miami used a similar system, they would annually take in a negative $128 as somebody would figure out how to steal the sales kiosk.

We grabbed a cab and our turban topped driver whisked us directly to the port. After the drop off at the port a human vortex literally sucked us aboard our ship. More on this later as I am trying to make an excursion in Ketchikan and this is our first cellular signal in two days.

Our Ship

Our Alaskan cruise will be with Holland America.  With a name that includes the word Holland, I pictured a Dutch influence with wooden shoed cabin stewards and little windmills everywhere.  

New Nike Brand Wooden Shoes

Many famous people have a Dutch association.  Ronald Reagan was nicknamed “Dutch” as was Dutch Shultz the famous gangster.  On the other hand, was it Shultz who was the president and Reagan was the gangster?  I get them confused.  Then you have Dutch Meyer the football coach and Dutch Savage the professional wrestler.  Moreover, who can forget Cornelius “Dutch” Warmerdam the famous pole-vaulter?  I did, until Wikipedia came to the rescue.

All Holland America ships have names that sound like Dutch curse words.  The cruise line’s first ship was the Amsterdam, which loosely translates to the condemnation of a small rodent, as in “damn hamster.”  We would say Hamsterdam but in Dutch the “h” is silent.  All of their ships use “dam” at the end of their names.  There is the Rotterdam, the Volendam, the Zuiderdam, the Goddam, the Hotdam and the Aylebedam.  Our ship is the MS Zaandam which is obviously condemning the Iranian newspaper Zan.  There is also a town and river in Holland named Zaan, but I doubt there is any connection.  If there was, you wouldn’t follow it with the word dam. 

 

I feel good about being aboard a ship with a Netherlands association.  Who would know more about boats than a country mostly situated below sea level?  The ship was built by Fincantieri in Venice, Italy, a soon-to-be-below sea level location.  A previous ship was christened MS Zaandam but it was torpedoed by a German submarine (U-174) in 1942.

Holland America started life in 1872.  We understand that many of their original passengers still cruise with them.  Holland America is known for serving an “older” clientele.  It is politely referred to as a “senior demographic.”  It will be a great ego boost to be considered a “youngster” again.  I only hope that I am not restricted to the children’s area.  

You can tell that Holland America really cater to a mature audience.  On the excursion and activities list, they have zip lining with walkers, a horizontal rock climb, Rascal Scooter races on the Lido deck and cane fencing.  The spinning class, while held in the gym, involves a real spinning wheel and a loom.  The spa center specializes in Bengay massages.  Room keys have a special fob with a button that, when pressed, indicates you have fallen on gangway H-4 and can’t get up.  The "early bird" midnight buffet is held at 5 p.m.  I read a recent story on the Cruise Critic where a Zaandam passenger had called the purser’s desk and wanted to know how to get out of his room.  The purser said he just needed to open the door.  The guest replied he only had two doors and one led to the bathroom and the other had a sign that read Do Not Disturb.

In reality, Holland America has no affiliation with Holland, other than the flag on the stern.  Most of the ships are built in Italy and Carnival Corporation of Miami (Micky Arison) is the parent company.  Carnival owns the Costa Cruises (see previous blog entry for Costa Concordia reference).  Carnival also owns the Cunard Line (Lusitania) which, in 1934, had merged with the White Star Line (Titanic).  I have binoculars and will be on the lookout for torpedoes and icebergs.  The torpedoes I can do without but I would like to get a nice picture of an iceberg.  

For anyone wanting to join us, I understand they have some very inexpensive accommodations near the engine room.  Each is equipped with a small window.  If you row really fast they will also provide free gruel.

 

Third Class Passage on the Zaandam

Well, our bags are packed and we are ready to go.  Sue managed to get all her bags put together as a single check-in.

Sue's Single Bag With Only Six Wheels

We hope to be cruising soon.