Our Ship

Our Alaskan cruise will be with Holland America.  With a name that includes the word Holland, I pictured a Dutch influence with wooden shoed cabin stewards and little windmills everywhere.  

New Nike Brand Wooden Shoes

Many famous people have a Dutch association.  Ronald Reagan was nicknamed “Dutch” as was Dutch Shultz the famous gangster.  On the other hand, was it Shultz who was the president and Reagan was the gangster?  I get them confused.  Then you have Dutch Meyer the football coach and Dutch Savage the professional wrestler.  Moreover, who can forget Cornelius “Dutch” Warmerdam the famous pole-vaulter?  I did, until Wikipedia came to the rescue.

All Holland America ships have names that sound like Dutch curse words.  The cruise line’s first ship was the Amsterdam, which loosely translates to the condemnation of a small rodent, as in “damn hamster.”  We would say Hamsterdam but in Dutch the “h” is silent.  All of their ships use “dam” at the end of their names.  There is the Rotterdam, the Volendam, the Zuiderdam, the Goddam, the Hotdam and the Aylebedam.  Our ship is the MS Zaandam which is obviously condemning the Iranian newspaper Zan.  There is also a town and river in Holland named Zaan, but I doubt there is any connection.  If there was, you wouldn’t follow it with the word dam. 

 

I feel good about being aboard a ship with a Netherlands association.  Who would know more about boats than a country mostly situated below sea level?  The ship was built by Fincantieri in Venice, Italy, a soon-to-be-below sea level location.  A previous ship was christened MS Zaandam but it was torpedoed by a German submarine (U-174) in 1942.

Holland America started life in 1872.  We understand that many of their original passengers still cruise with them.  Holland America is known for serving an “older” clientele.  It is politely referred to as a “senior demographic.”  It will be a great ego boost to be considered a “youngster” again.  I only hope that I am not restricted to the children’s area.  

You can tell that Holland America really cater to a mature audience.  On the excursion and activities list, they have zip lining with walkers, a horizontal rock climb, Rascal Scooter races on the Lido deck and cane fencing.  The spinning class, while held in the gym, involves a real spinning wheel and a loom.  The spa center specializes in Bengay massages.  Room keys have a special fob with a button that, when pressed, indicates you have fallen on gangway H-4 and can’t get up.  The "early bird" midnight buffet is held at 5 p.m.  I read a recent story on the Cruise Critic where a Zaandam passenger had called the purser’s desk and wanted to know how to get out of his room.  The purser said he just needed to open the door.  The guest replied he only had two doors and one led to the bathroom and the other had a sign that read Do Not Disturb.

In reality, Holland America has no affiliation with Holland, other than the flag on the stern.  Most of the ships are built in Italy and Carnival Corporation of Miami (Micky Arison) is the parent company.  Carnival owns the Costa Cruises (see previous blog entry for Costa Concordia reference).  Carnival also owns the Cunard Line (Lusitania) which, in 1934, had merged with the White Star Line (Titanic).  I have binoculars and will be on the lookout for torpedoes and icebergs.  The torpedoes I can do without but I would like to get a nice picture of an iceberg.  

For anyone wanting to join us, I understand they have some very inexpensive accommodations near the engine room.  Each is equipped with a small window.  If you row really fast they will also provide free gruel.

 

Third Class Passage on the Zaandam

Well, our bags are packed and we are ready to go.  Sue managed to get all her bags put together as a single check-in.

Sue's Single Bag With Only Six Wheels

We hope to be cruising soon.

What, Another Blog Entry About Planning for a Three-week Vacation?

Yup, we are still involved in the minutia of getting ready for a simple cruise.  While most folks make their reservations, put the dog in the kennel, and pack a suitcase the night before they leave, we are still ordering stuff from Amazon.  Moreover, we don’t even have a dog.

Today I spent about six hours going through all of my electronics to make sure I had every cable that plugs into the corresponding “what-cha-ma-call-it”.  I also verified that, for each thing that drains a battery, there is a charger.  Since most ships and motels allow you one electrical outlet, and then place that outlet where you can’t possibly use it, I have my extension cord.  I also have an adapter in case the outlet isn’t grounded.  I then have a short multi-outlet rig to accommodate the “wall-warts” that convert the provided 120 volts of AC electricity into the minimal DC current required for everything we use on vacation.   

Two iPhones use 1-amp chargers but the iPad needs a 2-amp charger.  My camera batteries need a charger and Sue’s camera, also a Canon, has a different battery and needs a different charger.  My flash needs a AA battery charger.  An adapter is needed to read SD chips into the iPad.  I also need tools for camera brackets and camera carrier mounts.  The blue-tooth keyboard for the iPad needs AAA batteries.  We now have enough wire and batteries to run a power cable from Denali to Fairbanks, providing of course they only need 1.5 volts.

Typical Dallas Motel Room Floor

 I also had previously ordered glow-in-the-dark tape.  I wasn’t sure what I would use it for but it looked like something I would need.  I was right.  The night before last, we had a two-hour power failure that started at 3:42 a.m.  The house was completely black.  I have flashlights everywhere but couldn’t find them in the dark.  Luckily, I had a small table set up in the bedroom with our vacation stuff, and there, in the complete darkness that is the non-electrified suburbs of Miami, sat a glowing coil of fluorescent tape.  I picked up the glowing tape and used it to find my flashlight.  I then used the flashlight to find and quiet the chirping of all twelve of the battery back-up (UPS) units that were sounding throughout the house.  Each device was telling me the power had failed and that they were now doing the task for which they were designed.  Since the UPS’s are only equipped for a power loss less than 30 minutes or so, I still had to reset, restart, and reboot a dozen or more gadgets.  I seem to remember a simpler time in my life.

Fluorescent Tape 1/2" X 30'

Today I placed a small strip of fluorescent tape on all of my flashlights, even the ones I am not taking on this trip.  The roll of tape was originally ten yards long.  After taping all of my flashlights I still had over 9 ½ yards of tape left.  I then proceeded to put a small piece of yellow-green fluorescent tape on every item I might ever need in the dark.  If our ship sinks, they will still be able to locate it by the glow coming from starboard cabin AA6143.

For those items that didn’t rate the “might need this in the dark” status of the fluorescent tape, I had little orange dots.  These adhesive ½” dots were added to everything else.  I have lost, left behind or haven’t been able to find more stuff because it blended in with its surroundings.  Almost every gadget I own is black.  The inside of most of my camera and gear bags is black.  I can’t see black on black.  All black gadget surfaces now have a glowing orange ½” dot affixed.  Now the little bastards (gadgets) can’t hide.  This crafty plan could be foiled in a heartbeat by a simple orange polka-dot bedspread.

Now that the majority of my stuff is marked with fluorescent tape, the thought occurred to me that this tape has to be emitting some form of radiation.  Fast forward to the TSA line at the airport when the nuclear threat alarm goes off while scanning my bags.  Since some poor guy/woman at the NSA is now reading this, they should know that the minor radiation in my bags poses no threat.  I hope that that last line will help.  I also hope they pass this information on to the nice folks in Canada where we have to clear customs.  I love Canada.  I could have easily become a Canadian citizen back in the sixties.  Then I went and enlisted in the Navy and didn’t have to move north.

Now Cough

Just Kidding TSA

Well, its ten and a half days before liftoff and I still await the arrival of my last piece of luggage from Amazon.  I still have time to unpack and refold all of my clothing and to re-inventory all of my electronics.  Several times.  

Sheldon Cooper, from The Big Bang Theory (TV series), has a clever hinged board that he uses to neatly fold all of his laundry.  I have Sue.  This is not to say I can’t fold my own clothes.  It’s just that when I fold and pack my own clothes, it drives Sue nuts.  I think wrinkles have character.  I think this more and more as I get older.  After twenty-eight years of marriage, I have also learned that it is best to give in to Sue on some things.  I have to admit she does a damn nice job.